I recently read an article in the February 2016 Ensign Magazine about depression. It was well written and deserves a read even if you don't suffer from anything like that it will help you understand and be more sympathetic to those who do. This week has been mostly a difficult one. I've been sad and weepy, mad and frustrated, happy and laughing, solemn and depressed, so a little lower than normal, ok maybe a little lower than lower than normal. At the end of it all though I have a few thoughts running through my head that I wanted to remember later.
#1 Foundations- You build a foundation of rock and it won't fall. Spiritually we are told to do this so when hard times beat against us our testimonies will protect us. Good theory! It holds true in friendships as well. This week a few very close friends have been at my side. One walked me through decisions (thank you Amy), one walked me through emotions (thank you Steph), and one walks beside me forever through everything (thank you Brent)! These foundations of friendship have been hit numerous times with trial and have stood up against the forces that would break them down. We all have the opportunity to create friendships that are amazing but not every one of them is built on a foundation as strong as rock. I like to think of friendship as a tree in its seasons. The foundational friends are the roots, you of course are the trunk, your friends that last for years on end are the thick branches, those that are there for shorter times are thinner ones, and those that flicker in and out of life are leaves. Roots typically don't leave the tree!
#2 Squaring your shoulders and pressing on - Saturday night I did that....this whole week I've done that. I pressed on through times that I didn't like, didn't want to be at, and didn't think mattered. I'm proud of myself for going through those moments even though it was an internal battle to be at everyone of those things. I feel like I'm fighting on behalf of myself because I know by being present both physically and mentally it actually helps in the process. It doesn't necessarily make it any easier though. This week I've either cried all the way home or crashed upon arrival at home, mentally depleted. I'm trying though, that's what counts.
#3 Family - Yesterday morning our closing hymn in Sacrament meeting was #300 Families can be Together Forever. I cannot make it through that song without thinking of my aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings, and my sweet parents all singing this song to my Grandpa and Grandma Abbott for their 50th wedding anniversary years ago. Tears always come, memories always flood, and I can never finish. After the week being the way it was I knew it would be no different. It was however, I couldn't even start. My sweet Emma though moved close to me, put her head on my shoulder, and cried right along with me; neither one of us singing a single word but simply sharing in each others spirits. It was the first time I think that I haven't longed for my momma afterward and I think it is mostly due to the comfort I received from Emma. My daughters actions have made such an interesting impression on me. I pray I am developing the type of relationship with her that I have with my own mother and this experience gives me hope that I might be doing some things right. Oh my darling Emma, you make me so proud of the woman you're becoming.
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