You Are Special

Still trying to catch up?  Yes! :( Oh well it's in the past, it's not going anywhere right?!  RIGHT???  Since it's not going anywhere I thought I would interrupt this regularly scheduled programming for some random thoughts. 

First is my little Emma who is not so little any longer, she's almost 5 feet tall.  She had a really rough day yesterday and it was extremely heart breaking for me to watch and try to fix.  I can't begin to tell everything that happened because there is just too much but it was one of those days that you want to crawl into bed and have a pity party.  At age 9 I don't think they understand crawling into bed and having a pity party, they just understand flash point frustration and every moment of struggle was the flash point.  When Brent walked in from work and got ignored I felt terrible but Emma was at her weakest moment then and I was trying desperately to drag her back from the deep end.  The really heart breaking thing however was that it wasn't a pity party because I can handle pity parties; she was truly, truly feeling like she was good at nothing.  The evening finally ended, Emma went to bed and I melted.  At one point I read her a book that has been extremely poignant in my short time on earth.  It's called "You are Special" by Max Lucado.....Read IT!

I got wondering when I couldn't sleep last night if when I'm parenting, do I turn to the Lord for help.  I realized this book was exactly the answer Emma needed for the feelings she is having at the moment and that in this particular moment I did turn to the Lord, in a way.  The Holy Ghost was there for me when I needed help even though I hadn't asked and this book said what I wasn't able to convey.  This morning she was happy, not about going to school, but happy nonetheless! I'm sure it isn't going to be the last time we broach this subject.  I'm a bit self deflating at times and with the pressures all around us it's hard not to be.  I'm sure she shares some of those same genes.  There's a Thomas S. Monson saying on my wall next to the front door that says, "Find joy in the journey."  I put it there to remind me last year when things were so bad at work and in the school surroundings that I could find joy. That through our Heavenly Father and His infinite understanding, we can find joy.  Maybe it's time we had a FHE lesson on what joy means.  Maybe it's time I help Emma understand that saying and apply it in her life.  

The second thought is injuries and how stinking tired I'm getting of being told it's just because I'm getting older.  HOW OLD DO YOU PEOPLE THINK I AM?  For goodness sake I'm 34 and I shouldn't be having so many physical ailments.  In the last 4 years it's gone like this, first it's my wrist- Tendonitis, then my feet- Plantar Fasciitis, then my knee- Chronic Ligament Tear, now my shoulder- Impingement to the Rotator Cuff.  Not only that but except for the left ankle roll I had a couple months ago (not really a big deal) everything is on my dominant right side.  Do you know how frustrating it is to not lift your shoulder?  Do you know how frustrating it is to try and make a potty run in the middle of the night and have pain shoot through your heal when you step down or wake up from pain shooting through your back because you've unconsciously laid on your right shoulder and now the shoulder wants relief?  As I type right now I'm constantly trying to remember not to tuck my knee under my bum because I know it's gonna hurt if I do, again I do that unconsciously.  So I get to do physical therapy exercises to correct the problems and build up more muscle to try and lessen the problem that will never go away and I'll be dealing with these issues forever.  Each time I play volleyball or basketball or ANYTHING I get to ice.....um my WHOLE body down I guess.  (sigh)  Should I just be grateful I'm not headed for surgery?  Stupid injuries! 

(That 2nd part...WAS a pity party!!!)