The Authentic You

The other night I found myself enthralled in a documentary entitled "Happy".  I enjoyed it and recommend it to everyone.  There have been a few specific things from the documentary rolling around in my mind the last couple of days and so I jumped back on Netflix  to try to find exactly what was said.  I don't know if it helps to write these out because now I've written this post entirely and I'm left with more questions!  These, however, were the initial thoughts. 

The first is this: Extrinsic goals and Intrinsic goals, two big words I didn't know before this but this is how I understand them now.  Everyone, whether they want to or not, makes goals and seeks after them.  These goals are divided into two categories, Extrinsic and Intrinsic.  Extrinsic goals in the most basic form break down to three categories - Money, Image, & Status whereas Intrinsic goals break down again in the most basic form also to three categories - Personal Growth, Relationships, & Desire to Help.  Without any other explanation or detail one can possibly guess what would bring more happiness.  Psychologically the Intrinsic goals are inherently satisfying because they have to do with psychological needs.  Very interesting.  The two do not compliment one another and are polar opposites.  The example they showed was of a person picking up trash but then holding behind their back because a car was driving by and they thought they would be seen.  Our values are a key component to our happiness. Very interesting!!!! 

The second thing is the Hedonic treadmill or adaption.  I knew I couldn't necessarily put this into my own words so I'm going to use anothers definition but the source is here.  It states as follows "The hedonic treadmill is a psychological phenomenon that explains why material possessions or reaching major life goals do not make people happier for long periods of time. When people reach a certain goal or attain a new possession, there is often a burst of happiness. Unfortunately, expectations and material desires often increase with this, thus after a short period of time the person returns to the level of happiness he/she was at before the new attainment."  In a sense this almost makes me sad because it makes you question whether you can ever be truly happy.  If I set a goal to do something worthwhile and then attain my goal I will be a better person but the happiness from attaining that goal will eventually subside back to what it previously was.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry?!  It  is interesting to me however that the Extrinsic goals of money, image and status keep you in this hedonic cycle of never feeling satisfied or happy.  You always become complacent with what you have and you always want more.  Intrinsic goals however, I think, (this is gospel by Cyndi Hedden so take it as you may) don't ever have a down fall they just help you to be happy.  

The last isn't from this documentary, this comes from an email I received this morning from my dear friend Stephanie.   This is the email...

 

Heya,

So this morning in my scripture reading, this verse stood out like a neon sign to me:
I Nephi 15:4-5

"And now, I Nephi, was grieved because of the hardness of their hearts, and also, because of the things which I had seen, and knew they must unavoidably come to pass because of the great wickedness of the children of men. And it came to pass that I was overcome because of mine afflictions, for I considered that mine afflictions were great above all, because of the destruction of my people, for I had beheld their fall."

Nephi was DEPRESSED! He was overcome with the challenges he was facing, the trials his family were creating, and it all overcame him. I don't know why our society is so opposed to facing depression as a reality when clearly it has been a situation mankind has found himself in since the beginning of time. I have found great comfort this morning in this recognition, and wanted to share it. Hope you are having a good day!

Love,
Stephanie

I am intrigued with the thought of Nephi feeling depression.  He's a HERO right?!  Hero's don't have bad days?!  I think on my own hero's and what makes them a hero and indeed the very reason they have made hero status in my book is because they face opposition and keep trying to be on the Lord's side.  I look up to them because of how they've withstood the enemy. I find these three examples of happiness interesting because so much of it depends on outside influence but does it really?  Nephi was overcome because of the actions of his family whom he loved dearly.  Does outside influence have that much say as to how we feel happiness?

During the documentary "happiness" was dissected as such...50% of happiness was labeled genetic or our "set point".  No matter what happened in life we would return to this set point of happiness.  The next was attributed to circumstances in life like health, job, money, or social status.  Surprisingly this only makes up 10% of our happiness and these are the things that we often let define our happiness.  The last 40% was what they called Intentional Activity or Behavior.  These are things we can do and decide to do on a regular basis to become happy.  40% is MY CHOICE! Seeing these statistics makes me want to reevaluate what I do everyday for my own happiness.  Am I using that 40% as the Lord would intend?  Am I wasting it on worldly nonsenses that ultimately defeat my happiness?  Am I "intentionally" treating my 40% to dinner and a movie or am I showing it how to pick up trash and not worry about the driver in the car possibly seeing us do random acts of kindness? 

The trick is to be authentically you, so the documentary person said in the end!  The trick is to go out of your way to do things that won't cost you your 40%.  To be kind and charitable.  To have compassion and a loving heart.  To set goals that help you learn new things and help you make your community a better place.  The point is to never stop learning, laughing, and loving.