The Guardian

After school the other day, my friend and I were taking a break before getting back to life. The kids were playing on the playground and it was beautiful outside. I mention the weather only to brag about paradise in November! While we were visiting, Shauna's son Spencer came up and told his mom something about me being his guardian. He was referring to my being on the play ground and at lunch. At that moment I thought it was pretty cool that he would say that but as I've thought about it, I've realized just how incredibly awesome that is. Awesome in this case means two things. 1st is the incredible responsibility that comes with being his guardian or rather all the kids. I thought at first that it was going to be just a couple hours a day and then I was done. I realize now that as I've seen kids at Costco or McDonalds and all around town that this guardian thing extends to all the time. I ran into one of the kids from school last week. She was with an adult, her mom I'm not sure, but the adult was just ripping into her. I could see the expression on the girls face and I wanted so badly to go rip that adult a new one. Obviously I didn't but the next time I was at school I made sure to give that girl a bit of extra special attention. I'm slowly getting to know these kids and their names and personalities which means I'm getting attached. Which in turn means that they become a part of my heart and I ache with their heartaches and rejoice at their successes. At school I have a shadow. I have no idea how to spell his name or honestly how to pronounce it at this point but nonetheless he's there. He's a kindergartner who hasn't developed his social skills quite yet so he follows me around the play ground. Sometimes when I think he is off playing I'll feel my hand being grasped by his little tiny one. He'll hold my hand for a moment and then I find a friend for him to play with and he's gone for another brief time until he comes to find me again. I've thought about his little hands often and how gently I hold them in mine. I've thought about the way I kneel down to look into his eyes and encourage him to play. I thought about my Savior and how He is that way with me. I'm in no way comparing myself to my Savior but I do feel at times that intense pressure to stand as an advocate for these kids. Shauna told me before I started at the school that Spencer had had some trouble on the playground and now because I'm there he feels safe. The responsibility is awesome.
The 2nd part of awesome defines itself as really really super cool. It's completely humbling to me when a child will put their faith in you. It's expected that your own child would and required as a parent as far as I'm concerned to create a way for your child to put their faith in you and work to be able to keep that honor as a parent but when a child from outside your family does it's very humbling. Spencer calls me his guardian and I think of myself as a superhero! It does a whole bunch for the ego! There may be aspects of the job that are quite frankly annoying but seeing these kids smile and laugh makes my heart soar. Receiving a hug or a fist pound is so great and I truly truly have found a love for these kids.