Thoughts Unleashed

I've had a few thoughts on my mind and I figured in the personal history aspect of this blog that I would write them down. For later use and for an interesting laugh from my family to come years from now.

Thought topic #1 - Presidents Day Vacation
A. I have decided that though the thought of staying up late and sleeping in in the morning is appealing, I am a much happier person when I have a normal sleep schedule. Still though I am
such a night owl and the temptation is great.

B. Spending the first half of vacation sick then spending the second half of vacation with a sick daughter doesn't seem very fair!

C. My nervous little heart all these years later still gives me moments of sickened worry with thoughts of ending vacation and going back to school even though I am not the one returning and haven't been in school for some time now.

Thought Topic #2 - Rain
A. The rain made me sick and therefor I have to suck on cough drops just to get to sleep because if I don't, I hack and cough so much that I can't fall asleep.

B. In the moments between coughs I listen to my sweet husband curiously breathe in rhythm to the rain pouring outside.

C. I love my big jean quilt. I can open my window on a late February night, listen to the rain coming down and still be quite warm and cozy under my big jean quilt all night long. Haha I live in PARADISE and we can do that sort of thing here!

Thought Topic #3 - Random thoughts that don't fit together
A. I find drilling and hammering holes in the wall curiously satisfying. Whether it's in the garage to hang tools, out on the porch to put up bamboo fencing, or just hanging pictures up on the wall, there is something about the action of using the power tools or a big huge hammer that I find "curiously satisfying". P.S. Does anyone ever have the urge to just take a huge bat or large heavy object and start randomly destroying things? Glass plates sound like fun! Of course not in my own home but someday right before a house is torn down or something I would love to take a sledge hammer and ruin a few walls. Is this thought wrong?

B. I don't think it's fair that playing the Wii makes my wrist hurt. I'm only 32 and shouldn't have to put up with silly little aches and pains yet should I? Maybe I have carpal tunnel syndrome from too much time playing video games and typing on my blog!


C. Every so often and more than I really like to admit, I have the overwhelming feeling to cave myself into my house and hole up for hibernation. It's like I don't want to see anyone or be present at anything social. I am shy and have worked hard at not being shy but the temptation is great to revert back and become a hermit. I wonder if this is just Satan being a jerk?

D. Often I get into a nesting stage even though I'm not pregnant where everything has to be sorted through and everything must be thrown out or given away. Yesterday we took a huge pile of "junk" to donate. After we dropped it off I looked back into the rear of our vehicle and felt this huge weight lifted and complete satisfaction at having gotten rid of "junk".

E. (This one is going to be vague because I don't want feelings hurt) The thought of being left behind stinks. The thought of being second fiddle stinks. What stinks the worst is when those thoughts move from being thoughts to actions. It hurts and I hate it.


Thought Topic # 4 - Tender Church Moments
A. This morning I watched as 5 year old Spencer waved to 12 year old Devin while Devin was passing the sacrament. Devin smiled and secretly waved back as he was walked past Spencer's pew. It made me tear up because as an adult I realize how important it is for the 5 year old Spencer's of the world to have great examples like the 12 year old Devin's. Without even knowing it and being a friendly 12 year old, Devin was a great example of the Preisthood today to Spencer but to me too. Interesting how when we are doing what we are supposed to be doing things like good examples are readily seen and available. Oh how I hope Spencer will have some sort of that memory stuck in the back of his head. Visual examples are so vital.

B.(Last Thought) This morning Sister Poulson gave such a great talk and there were a couple of things that really stood out that I wanted to make note of and make sure I had in writing. First was that the youth need to know how much their parents love them. Verbally and physically. It may be hard to reach our kids in teenage years but by telling them and showing them our love often it will be a tiny bit easier. We need to not assume that they "know" we love them. The other thought that stood out was that although our children don't need to know every struggle we go through, it is good to show them occasionally that we do have challenges and difficulties. They, our children, need to see us working with the Atonement in our lives so that as we go through our challenges they can see our love of our Heavenly Father. They can understand, through our example, choice and accountability and understand better how our Savior loves us all. In other words don't pretend that I am perfect and that everything is grand all the time. As Sister Poulson gave her testimony of the Saviors love, I felt it. I felt that tingly feeling from the Spirit and was touched beyond measure. These words were like scripture written for me to pay attention to now and through Emma's growing up years.

There my thoughts are all written down now. Hum, maybe I'll sleep better tonight?