Four Thoughts-So Many Answers

This post will assuredly be long but it needs to be said! Thank you in advance for taking the time to read it.

#1 It's finally Easter Sunday
If you read earlier posts about Emma being sick and us not being able to see conference, you will understand this first thought better. This year, even though we went through the motions, I felt like Easter had never really come. I love it when we have Easter on Conference Sunday but not being able to see it was a real downer. Yesterday we finally had our Easter program at church. It was delayed a few weeks but for some reason I felt like it made it all the more sweeter. The choir has been practicing these two songs that were a bit difficult (for me) and I was frustrated about them. Finally, last week, I felt like I was starting to get my part down and started to feel better about it. Our first song went well I thought but the final song, In the Silent Garden by Sally DeFord (click here to see the lyrics), really really got to me. It got to me during rehearsal before hand and I ended up tearing up then. When we sang it for real I held it together and we finished on such a tremendous high but then as soon as I sat down I was flooded with emotions and feelings for my Savior. Read the lyrics! They will get to you too. After we sang Bishop ended with a few thoughts of his own about the Savior and his words really meant so much to me as well. It's always a great day when Sacrament meeting makes you focus so much on the Savior. (I'm going in order of events and will come back to church in thought #3)

#2 Kindred Spirits
I think part of my emotional state yesterday was due in part to a friend moving. My friend Margo Edgeworth and her family moved to Mesa yesterday right after sacrament was over. She's our choir director, was our choir director, and I am going to miss her. Not only because of choir although to be perfectly honest I will miss her there but because I felt like there was a bond between us. It was not as developed a bond as I would have hoped for but there nonetheless. I didn't feel we were ever able to spend enough time together to develop those deep seated links but for those times at church or casual conversations on the phone and in person, there was something very strong (for me at least) that did develop. From the moment we met at the ward camp out last summer I felt like I had known her from somewhere before. That feeling doesn't come often and when it does the term kindred spirit or familiar spirit comes to mind. I'm pretty darn sure the next time I see her, we will pick right up where we left off and nothing will seem odd! I make it sound like she's dying or something, sorry. I know it's not the end and I know I can still stay acquainted through Face book and our blogs but I wanted this feeling put to words so I would always remember. So I would always remember that sweet sweet feeling of two spirits finding one another again!

#3 The Holy Ghost
I wasn't going to put this on the blog originally but after yesterday's lesson in Relief Society and talking with my mom last night I've decided to add it. Last Monday our FHE was on the 4th Article of Faith. We spent quite a bit of time talking about the Holy Ghost. I bore my testimony to Emma about who the Holy Ghost has been in my life and I related a story from when I had been prompted, followed the prompting, and saved from injury. That night the Spirit was very strong in our home and I felt like it had been the best FHE lesson I had given in awhile. The next day Emma came home from school and told me that the Holy Ghost had talked to her. I didn't laugh because her feelings are tender and wanted her to know I supported her. She said that she had been on the swing when she heard the Holy Ghost say to her to get off the swing because it was dangerous. She said that she felt that it was dangerous and that the Holy Ghost must be right and she got off. I thought then that it was a pretty cute story and felt good that she had been listening at FHE the night before but that was about it. I remember telling her then that her story was awesome but I really didn't think about it much after that and not that I didn't believe her but I guess I just chalked it up to being a cute 7 year old's story. Then yesterday in RS we talked on this very subject and delved deeper into the knowledge of who the Holy Ghost is and what he does for us. This lesson was exactly what I needed to hear. Jessica Smith, who was giving the lesson, talked about receiving promptings from the Holy Ghost before one is baptized and how he can testify of truth to those who are seeking truth who are not yet members of the church. After hearing all the comments and listening to the things Jessica talked about with her own testimony and her daughters experiences, I realized that I was not taking what Emma had told me as seriously as I needed to be. Whether she heard the Holy Ghost or not isn't what matters. Really it's all about her finding truth in her life. I feel like the experience she had last Tuesday while on the swing confirmed to her the presence of the Holy Ghost in her life and incredible it is that she could have such a truth defining experience at such a very tender age. (Thanks again Jessica! Oh and btw this is some of the emotion that I wasn't able to convey over the phone yesterday!)

#4 - He Hears Me
So after church I was still on this spiritual and emotional roller coaster and I really didn't want to see the end. Brent was home teaching and I had a few minutes to myself in the kitchen with lunch prep. (I do great thinking in the kitchen when my hands are busy) I wanted the Spirit to stay and was afraid to let my mind wander over the happenings of the day for fear I would burst into tears again so I put on one of my favorite older CD's...Hilary Weeks "He Hears Me". I know all the songs pretty much by heart and could just sing along and have good feelings without thinking too much. Ya, that didn't happen! The song from the title He Hears Me came on and before I knew it I was in tears once again, going over every moment from earlier in the day. I realized while listening that prayers had been answered and the events from earlier in the day had helped me see the answers. Pleading with the Lord for opportunities for friendship, pleading with the Lord to help us prepare Emma for baptism, and pleading with the Lord for a stronger feeling of the Spirit in my life have all been prayers that have happened at my bedside in the last nine months over and over and over again. I am so richly blessed. I am richly blessed with terrific friends who support me and care deeply for me. I have watched Emma grow more and more prepared for baptism and I think she has so much more understanding about baptism than I ever did at that age. I have been a very proud mommy watching my daughter take this so seriously. As for the Holy Ghost in my life, I still will pray for a stronger connection. I yearn for the feeling of having my Savior close to me always. There are times when I know I could be doing better to invite the Spirit in but I have been very cognizant of when the Spirit is present and when it's not and it has helped me to understand myself more clearly. I am very very humbled!