Eight is great!

I know, I know, Emma this and Emma that. Blah Blah Blah. Yada Yada Yada! If you don't want to read yet one more post about my darling little girl, stop now. No one is making you continue to read and it's about to become sappy with love for my precious eight year old (well almost eight anyway). LAST WARNING...Stop reading now if you are tired of hearing me talk about her! So you decided to stay? Well, thank you for continuing to listen and read about one of the two most precious loves of my life. Emma turns eight in a few hours. 3:36 a.m. to be exact. After a very long day that started at 7:30 a.m., of waiting around in the hospital bed with wires attached everywhere, the nurse comes in about this time (11:45 p.m.) and tells me that Emma's oxygen levels (still in utero) are a serious concern. The Dr. of course has been notified but is standing by via the phone to know the latest in the situation. Time wears on and I go on and off the pitocin which of course is making my labor even longer. At 2:30 the Dr. show's up. Emma is only getting nearly enough oxygen. He watches my progress or lack there of for another 45 minutes and then comes in and says that he wants an emergency cesarean because they are really worried about her being in there in this frightening condition. This wasn't news to me. The Dr. and I had already discussed this possibility due to a very small pelvis which the Lord blessed me with. The decision was made and off I went to finally have my sweet little angel brought to earth completely. Later, years later, my sweet husband told me that Emma was not breathing when she came out. This fact apparently was kept from me to keep me from freaking out. Good choice! The choice for cesarean was also a good choice, not only because of the lack of oxygen but because the Dr. discovered Emma, upon entering into my midsection, turned in such an angle that would have made natural childbirth very very difficult.

It's interesting to me that eight years later these very details remain so vivid in my mind. I'm sure with every mother there is a certain amount that stays with you until the very end when you get to go Home. Memories have a way of staying around. Such memories for me lately have been all the times I found myself tearing up over having the opportunity to be Emma's mother. As her birthday and baptism draw nigh, I have found myself thinking so much about these past years that have almost melted away overnight and in those thoughts I find how blessed I am. Emma as you know is my only child. Brent and I are blessed to be her parents. We have had some pretty hard emotional struggles with having a small family of three. I grew up in a family of eight and dreamed of continuing that as a parent. I thought for sure there would be a little Levi Vaughn and another little boy or girl after that at the very least. Emma for years asked when I would have another child. I ached inside for her to not be able to experience being a big sister and sibling. As she turned six, my thoughts and actions shifted to try and cope with not baring any more children and finding joy in the every day opportunities that the Lord had already provided. It has been a journey for me to find that joy. Emma is that joy! (and always has been)
The other day our family of three sat in the Bishop's office while Emma had her baptism interview. Bishop asked about Joseph Smith and how the gospel was first reorganized on the earth and I wondered what Emma's response would be. Without being prompted she told Bishop all about Joseph kneeling in the woods to pray and the events that followed. Joy! It has been moments like these that all the sudden I see what kind of person my daughter is inside and I find joy! She is kind and her heart is tender. She thinks of others and how they might feel and tries to avoid them having to feel pain. Sometimes she comes off as shy but I've started to see that it's not necessarily always shy so much as serious. She understands what kind of emotions need to be presented in certain situations. She's funny and smiles easily. She's fun to be around. She's to darn hard on herself but I guess she gets that from all the women on my side of the family! She has this spiritual understanding that I am amazed at often. She knows who the Lord is and wants to be a good person. She and I have a really great time just hanging out together and have forged a this great bond between the two of us. We share a love of food and cooking and she is so eager to learn and try with me by her side in the kitchen. As well as forming a bond with me, she has formed an incredible bond with Brent. The other day I came home and they were building a house out of dominoes while listening to Bach or Beethoven or one of the great composers. They have something between them that I greatly admire. Sometimes I question whether she is really only (almost) eight. Sometimes she seems like she is one of the gang! Brent and Emma and I have had some really great adventures together and when I look back at them it doesn't seem like it was parent and child but really just good friends.
Will this continue? I pray it will. I pray I can always have the relationship with my sweet Emma that I have now. I pray she will want to come to me and Brent with her joys and sorrows. Oh sweet Emma, Happy Birthday my beautiful daughter. May you always remember who you are in your parents eyes. (all your parents!)