So yes, I've been crying for the last few days and have had an ongoing headache 
from the crying jag but GUESS WHAT? I stood up for myself today. I don't know why I get into this pity feeling that I have to feel helpless. I am a strong woman and I don't know why I let the JERK satan (yes I purposely capitalized jerk and not his name) get to me. I've had a "little" situation going on at work the last (long) while and I finally had had it. I felt like quitting and just putting it behind me until I got some words of advice from 1. my sweet man and 2. two sweet friends! Stand up for yourself they said! Let it be heard they said. Today I did! I still have a headache from being in tears and partly from my good friends the Santa Anna winds but I feel so much better that I stood up. Who knows if it will do any good but at least I took control of the things I could control. I got thinking back earlier today about this same type of situation that happened right after I got married. I was working for this guy and I had had it then too and instead of going to him and telling him that I was frustrated with how he was treating me, I yelled at him on the way out of the office as I turned in my resignation. WHY? Why can satan get to me that way? How do I stop him getting to me that way. I don't like that feeling of not having the courage to stand up for myself. I don't like the feeling of being helpless but while I'm in that situation I can't see through the haze. You know thinking, really thinking about this, I was left in a calling (I believe) long after I should have been released to learn this about myself and I did learn this about myself so why can't I recall those types of things while I'm in these sticky situations and have the FAITH in myself and in my Heavenly Father to stand and be the woman He knows I am? It's frustrating to me. This is why I'm writing this now, so I can remember the next time and tell myself, "Self, YOU ARE NOT A CHICKEN! GET OFF YOUR DUFF AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION THE RIGHT WAY! The Lord has faith in you, NOW HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF!" I've always thought of myself having a good size bit of self esteem but I've just realized that self esteem is kinda like a big bowl of ice cream. It's always better with a drizzle of chocolate syrup or a few nuts. There's always room for a bit more whipping cream or a banana shoved underneath. It's almost nothing without the hot fudge slowly poured over the top. There's always room to add more to your self esteem bowl and this is one for me. I just wish it would stay put and stop inconspicuously sliding out when I really need it to stick. I guess I'll need to label that one "Marshmallow topping"!
from the crying jag but GUESS WHAT? I stood up for myself today. I don't know why I get into this pity feeling that I have to feel helpless. I am a strong woman and I don't know why I let the JERK satan (yes I purposely capitalized jerk and not his name) get to me. I've had a "little" situation going on at work the last (long) while and I finally had had it. I felt like quitting and just putting it behind me until I got some words of advice from 1. my sweet man and 2. two sweet friends! Stand up for yourself they said! Let it be heard they said. Today I did! I still have a headache from being in tears and partly from my good friends the Santa Anna winds but I feel so much better that I stood up. Who knows if it will do any good but at least I took control of the things I could control. I got thinking back earlier today about this same type of situation that happened right after I got married. I was working for this guy and I had had it then too and instead of going to him and telling him that I was frustrated with how he was treating me, I yelled at him on the way out of the office as I turned in my resignation. WHY? Why can satan get to me that way? How do I stop him getting to me that way. I don't like that feeling of not having the courage to stand up for myself. I don't like the feeling of being helpless but while I'm in that situation I can't see through the haze. You know thinking, really thinking about this, I was left in a calling (I believe) long after I should have been released to learn this about myself and I did learn this about myself so why can't I recall those types of things while I'm in these sticky situations and have the FAITH in myself and in my Heavenly Father to stand and be the woman He knows I am? It's frustrating to me. This is why I'm writing this now, so I can remember the next time and tell myself, "Self, YOU ARE NOT A CHICKEN! GET OFF YOUR DUFF AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS SITUATION THE RIGHT WAY! The Lord has faith in you, NOW HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF!" I've always thought of myself having a good size bit of self esteem but I've just realized that self esteem is kinda like a big bowl of ice cream. It's always better with a drizzle of chocolate syrup or a few nuts. There's always room for a bit more whipping cream or a banana shoved underneath. It's almost nothing without the hot fudge slowly poured over the top. There's always room to add more to your self esteem bowl and this is one for me. I just wish it would stay put and stop inconspicuously sliding out when I really need it to stick. I guess I'll need to label that one "Marshmallow topping"!
5 comments:
Good for you!!! You go girl!
I LOVE the big bowl of self-esteem. That is awesome! I am so proud of you! You did what many people wished that had done or should do.
Cyndi! Thanks so much! I LOVE your big bowl of self esteem, so made my day! You go girl! :)
I love your big bowl of self esteem. It seems like when you have the weeks when nothing is going right, thats when the JERK is at his finest. But I'm glad your getting through it. I'm right there with you!
I'm so proud of you!!!!
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