The witch who runs the show, I'm so pissed I'm shaking I'll be there for you and last This is not my daughter...

I know it is quite the title. Please forgive me, this post is so long. I haven't been very diligent in my blogging lately. I have a few lame excuses and a few good ones. I promise not to bore you with any of them. I will catch everyone up in the next blog but for this one I have a huge load to get off my chest (hence the title) so if you want to continue reading please feel free to do so but just know that this post will most likely be long and drawn out. I am warning you now...turn back, enter at your own risk, look away, not for the feint of heart, young children must have adult supervision. I AM SO PISSED... I warned you. We had Tap rehearsal today. It did not go well. It began this morning with waking Emma up for school where I found her laying in bed in a pile of puke. Needless to say she did not attend school. I debated whether to even take her to this rehearsal this afternoon because she has been sick the last several days, however, I was informed that if she missed this she would not be able to perform on Saturday. Here's the thing, we have only missed one class and not that Emma is even close to being the best in her class but for goodness sake she is 6 years old. Those are the rules however. So we got ready which included a grilling hair do to keep all her hair tucked in because the teacher didn't want any hair showing. Here are a few pics. Emma's hair is so slicked down with about a 1/4 cup of gel and hair spray. Poor thing. It was killing her to have her hair pulled like that, plus with being sick, she was such a trooper though and got through it with smiles. and Then of course so diligently we drove to Balboa park (where parking on a free Tuesday is a joke) and arrived on time costume ready to go and seated in the appropriate seats where I had to leave her alone. Not a problem I was already prepared to do so. Ok so now we play the waiting game. No Prob. 25 minutes later it was Emma's turn to be on stage to rehearse. I go to the front because I think, "Hum I probably won't get a very good shot of her on Sat. so I will get one now of her dancing. WRONGO! My daughter is no where to be found. Here is a picture of what I see... Do you see my child anywhere on this stage? OF COURSE NOT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT THERE! Immediately I start to panic. Ok I think to myself it's just that she is in the back and I can't get a good look at her face because they all look the same. No I know what my daughter looks like even with her hair all tucked back and a cap on her head. She's not there. After I had spent a good two or three minutes searching on stage for her and realizing she wasn't there I was really panicked. The only thing I could think of was that some one has kidnapped my child. There were hordes of people there. I started searching the crowd trying to find some little penguin. (Thats what the costume is) Finally over to the far side I see three little ones sitting all alone. I rush over and there is Emma sitting with tears rolling down her cheeks bawling. So relieved to have found her my emotions very quickly go to anger. I ask her why she is not up there and she says that her teacher (I erased the names that I had put in there by the way) Ms. Kathy told her she couldn't dance. I told Emma to stay and then turned around and started yelling at the top of my lungs over all the noise so that "Ms. Kathy" would hear me. I start screaming at her that Emma is supposed to be on the stage. She turns to me finally (I can tell by this point that she is ignoring me) and says that Emma was LATE! THE @#$& SHE WAS! Not only was she on time but she was sitting there all alone with no supper vision that we were promised. How could she have been late if she were in the STINKING PICTURE THAT YOU FORCED HER TO BE IN? After I yell at her a little more she tells me to bring her up and then has the gall to tell her to hurry up. Then she puts her in the very back row in the very last position. There are a lot of things that I understand. I can make a lot of allowances for a lot of things but one thing that I can not stand is when an adult takes out their frustration on another adult through their child. Like I said before Emma is not the best her class and I don't expect her to be front and center but I didn't think that Kathy would place her behind everyone else and create a new row with just her in the very back. That is such a low blow. Not only that but while I was there I found out a few things...Kathy has here favorites and those favorites are performing in every show. She doesn't just schedule different rec centers and have just that class perform she picks and chooses who goes in what show and apparently her favs get to do everyone so not only is Emma in the back but there are so many kids on the stage that you can't even see your kid at all because of course her favs are in the front. Like I said I can understand that need to have one kid in the front who knows what they are doing so the rest of the class can follow but that doesn't mean she needs to pack the stage. Emma came down and I asked her if it was fun and she said that it wasn't really fun being up on the stage and that Kathy yelled at her while she was putting her in line. OH I AM JUST SEETHING. So here is the "I'll be there for you" part of the title. I have a friend named Deanne Gunver. We used to do stuff together all the time and then her schedule switched and now I don't get to see her that much. After I had my ordeal with "The Witch who runs the show" I was walking up to get our bag so that I could wait for Emma to come out and we could go home and there was Deanne. I was so mad and there was so much adrenaline running through me that I was shaking with anger. Deanne was there smiling and I (looking back) felt that she was someone who had been placed there for me. She was really there because she had been at the Museum for Free Tuesdays and as she was walking out to her car saw all the girls in their out fits and decided to come in and check out what was going on. I really think that she must have been placed there at that time however because I was literally ready to knock the block off someones (Ms. Kathy's) face. It's been a really long time since I have been that worked up that I wanted to punch someone. I will be the first to admit that I have an anger problem and I work on it daily so that it doesn't control me. Today it almost did. As I was settling down at home I turned on the TV and Friends was just coming on with the theme song. It got to the part where it says about not being your day your month or your year but that I'll be there for you. I burst into tears realizing that Deanne had been there for me and that in turn the Lord had been there for me. Thank you Deanne for whatever decisions you made today that lead you to the place you were in today. You saved me from doing something really stupid. I have one more thing that I would like to add and then I promise to shut up. The little girl in this picture is not the daughter that I know. I know she is shy and moody at times and a brat at times. She is a lot like her mother! The one thing she is not is self deflating. She is happy and confidant and she knows what she can and can't do. I have seen her cry three times after different tap class' and now after today and all the things that happened I am really just more upset that ever. If I could go back a step what would I do? The answer of course is not there. Has it been good for her to experience these things. Initially I say no because I see that her confidence in this area is shot. On the other hand I say yes. She has developed a friendship for her friend Elizabeth Beesley (who she took the class with) that I don't think was there before and we met another family who I think we will be friends with for a long time. In the end as we sat together this evening and she read to me a book that she read to her daddy last night and wanted to share with me, I witnessed the confidant, happy, strong willed little girl who I know so well. She read the entire book by herself adding in voice tones to make the story more interesting and funny. She got a kick out of surprising me with the ending and showing me her favorite parts. Since I had never read the book before it was thrilling for me to watch her show her true and very real personality. It kills me to think that in two short semesters one woman could have had a horrible impact on my child's emotional status. Am I blowing this way out of proportion? Maybe. Maybe I am, but isn't my job to protect my child from these very things? I feel sort of like a failure in not seeing this happening sooner. I am not saying that in any way shape or form I could have for scene what was to come but this one time I wish I could have spared my sweet tender little girl this particular heart ache. Just so you all will know... (and sorry it gets a little blury) this is my daughter.

Thanks for listening!