The other night I finished the book, The Secret Life of Bees. All along I enjoyed reading it but it was the very end that really, really got to me. I won't explain anything about the book but this is the last few lines.
I go back to the moment when I stood in the driveway with small rocks and clumps of dirt around my feet and looked back at the porch. And there they were. All these mothers. I have more mothers than any eight girls off the street. They are the moons shining over me.
I read and reread over that several times, blown away by how that statement was so true in my life. I'm not saying in any way shape or form that my mother was lacking. If you know my mother you would realize that it is the opposite. My mother is my best friend (next to Brent) and a wonderful person and I was raised in a kind and loving home. This book however got me thinking about all the women in my life that are and have been the moons shining over me and so I started to list them. I started with of course my own mother, my sister and the women in my family. It took me awhile to realize that my sister was truly a mother to me. In fact it wasn't really until I had a child of my own to see exactly how much Anita had been a moon shining over me. She has always been there for me and often in ways that I didn't know. This I wish I had seen much earlier.
Then the list started to turn to my home ward and then the stake and then the time after high school but before wedded bliss. Then after the wedding and in my first two wards when those women still influenced me like mothers would. The list is long. But then I got to thinking that there were more. I spent half my primary age years in Sparks NV and half in Las Vegas NV and I was sure there were mothers there. I searched my brain for the Sparks names and a few came and a few memories lingered. Then I thought about school teachers. OF course there were school teachers! It wasn't surprising to me to see there weren't as many school as there were church but still there were school.
Then I had a revelation. It wasn't just women. There was this one teacher in high school named Bill Russell. He got me! He understood me on my level. I liked him as a teacher so much that I made sure I had him again the next year. Then the next year when I started working chair side for a dentist he came in as a patient and again I was influenced because of his gentle kind ways. (that all sounds kinda creepy but I swear it was all legit)
Now, thinking about this subject in my mind for several days, another revelation has been reached. The women I have looked up to all these years have suddenly become the women who are every different age. They are the mothers of children my child's age, they are the grandmothers, they are the newly married mothers, they are the single mothers, they are the empty Nester mothers, they are the mothers that have never born children or never been married and any other mother I didn't mention. I realize I'm still seeing all these crazy wonderful examples right in front of me. I wondered when it happened that I stopped looking at them as a mother figure and started looking at them as a sister figure. I've done quite a bit of self examining lately on this topic. I don't think I can pin point an exact moment but there is a time period in there that stands out to me. Right as Emma was turning two I was again put into YW's and there was a sister I served with who was several years my senior. She and I got along famously. It must have been Beverly Judd that helped me turn that corner from mother figures to sister figures. I walked around Emma's school today, going about my duties, thinking about all the women who currently surround me. I ended up having to sit down and cry a little about it. Even tonight one of those sisters called just to give a bit of thanks and again I was overwhelmed with how much I have been blessed. I have been richly blessed.
This list below only marks some of the women that I could immediately think of from my past, not my present. (That is except my family, they're certainly still part of my present!) I wasn't going to post that part because I didn't want anyone left off this list that possibly could have been the moon shining over me at one time or another and I hope no one is offended if they don't see their name. It's been quite a journey thinking of these names and remembering what part they had in shining on me. If there is one that's been left off PLEASE tell me to add it. I'm pretty sure I'll be coming back and adding names for the blurb book! It's true that it took and still takes a village to raise "this" child. I have proof!
I go back to the moment when I stood in the driveway with small rocks and clumps of dirt around my feet and looked back at the porch. And there they were. All these mothers. I have more mothers than any eight girls off the street. They are the moons shining over me.
I read and reread over that several times, blown away by how that statement was so true in my life. I'm not saying in any way shape or form that my mother was lacking. If you know my mother you would realize that it is the opposite. My mother is my best friend (next to Brent) and a wonderful person and I was raised in a kind and loving home. This book however got me thinking about all the women in my life that are and have been the moons shining over me and so I started to list them. I started with of course my own mother, my sister and the women in my family. It took me awhile to realize that my sister was truly a mother to me. In fact it wasn't really until I had a child of my own to see exactly how much Anita had been a moon shining over me. She has always been there for me and often in ways that I didn't know. This I wish I had seen much earlier.
Then the list started to turn to my home ward and then the stake and then the time after high school but before wedded bliss. Then after the wedding and in my first two wards when those women still influenced me like mothers would. The list is long. But then I got to thinking that there were more. I spent half my primary age years in Sparks NV and half in Las Vegas NV and I was sure there were mothers there. I searched my brain for the Sparks names and a few came and a few memories lingered. Then I thought about school teachers. OF course there were school teachers! It wasn't surprising to me to see there weren't as many school as there were church but still there were school.
Then I had a revelation. It wasn't just women. There was this one teacher in high school named Bill Russell. He got me! He understood me on my level. I liked him as a teacher so much that I made sure I had him again the next year. Then the next year when I started working chair side for a dentist he came in as a patient and again I was influenced because of his gentle kind ways. (that all sounds kinda creepy but I swear it was all legit)
Now, thinking about this subject in my mind for several days, another revelation has been reached. The women I have looked up to all these years have suddenly become the women who are every different age. They are the mothers of children my child's age, they are the grandmothers, they are the newly married mothers, they are the single mothers, they are the empty Nester mothers, they are the mothers that have never born children or never been married and any other mother I didn't mention. I realize I'm still seeing all these crazy wonderful examples right in front of me. I wondered when it happened that I stopped looking at them as a mother figure and started looking at them as a sister figure. I've done quite a bit of self examining lately on this topic. I don't think I can pin point an exact moment but there is a time period in there that stands out to me. Right as Emma was turning two I was again put into YW's and there was a sister I served with who was several years my senior. She and I got along famously. It must have been Beverly Judd that helped me turn that corner from mother figures to sister figures. I walked around Emma's school today, going about my duties, thinking about all the women who currently surround me. I ended up having to sit down and cry a little about it. Even tonight one of those sisters called just to give a bit of thanks and again I was overwhelmed with how much I have been blessed. I have been richly blessed.
This list below only marks some of the women that I could immediately think of from my past, not my present. (That is except my family, they're certainly still part of my present!) I wasn't going to post that part because I didn't want anyone left off this list that possibly could have been the moon shining over me at one time or another and I hope no one is offended if they don't see their name. It's been quite a journey thinking of these names and remembering what part they had in shining on me. If there is one that's been left off PLEASE tell me to add it. I'm pretty sure I'll be coming back and adding names for the blurb book! It's true that it took and still takes a village to raise "this" child. I have proof!
P.S. This list is not in any kind of order( well 1&2!)
1.Eileen Ross
2.Anita Ross
3.my sweet Aunts
4.Sheila Mohler
5.Myrna Egbert
6.Janie Mashburn
7.Pat Neel
8.Tresa Leavitt
9 .Cecily Marshall
10.Rene Tucker
11.Valorie Lystrup
12.Beth Garrard
13.Bonnie Buchanan
14.Barbara Tegtmeier
15.Maureen Smith
16.Paula Gamett
17.Jody VanDrimmelen
18.Linda Thiriot
19.Ann Hafen
20.Beverly Judd
21.Reta Troxell
22.Debbie Bullock
23.Beryl Pinney
24.Joyce Reese
25.Sis. VanHorn
26.Jody Keys
27. Vonnie Call
28.Janice Rowland
29.Terry Mannion
30.Sharon Noorda
31.Rosie Merback
32.Lori Hammons
33.Karalee Dobbs
34.Glynnis Bingham
35.Janie Nihipali
36.Lee Hughes
37.Glynnis Stirling
38.Shirley Williams
39.Jeannie Dickinson
40.Amy Holler
41.Sis. Seegmiller
42.Jude Lightfoot
43.Debra Little
44.Jannette Smith
45.Rhonda Okuda
46.Stephanie Harmer
47.Janice Ledford
48.Sis. Reno
49.Lynnette Williams
50.Lorna Hall
51.Mary Huntsman
52.Sis. Lefler
53.Rebecca Hopkinson
54.Rosemary Plunkett
55.Dottie Douglas
56.Tana Christensen
57.Bill Russell
58.Norman Noorda
59.Paula Wood
60.Marianne Thompson
61.Marian Rodriguez
62.Mrs. Anderson
63.Jill Anderson
64.Shelly Bryan
65.Donna Larsen
66.Penny Nelson
67. Barbara Haycock
68.
69.
70.
P.S. To all the women in my life, past and present, thank you. I'll try my hardest to repay you by following your example.
4 comments:
What a beautiful post Cyndi. You have me in mess of tears over here. I hope you realize that you are one of those special mothers to so many people...you are that moon shining down on hundreds of individuals. Me being at the top of that list. This was such a wonderful post and such a beautiful tribute to so many beautiful women. I feel so honored to be the daughter of one of those beautiful bright moons shining down on you. My mother is the best woman i know. Thank you for posting this. And know Cyndi Hedden...you are one of my moons. xx
i love you.
Sweet Cindi...What a "coming of age" post! I too have come to realize the many women in my life who have helped to make me who I am today. The list is endless because I never cease to be amazed at the women who are all around me. I feel honored to be included on the list but cannot for the life of me understand why.. I just went about life doing the best that I can. Maybe that is the lesson is that each of us.. just going about life... doing good that we never realize until someome takes the time to point it out. I am sure you are the same way.. in every way...I love you my sweet sister!
I love the Halloween blog. What a great list. Most of them are on my list as well! Some really, really great women!
Oh Cyndi! What an honor to be included on this list of wonderful women of God. This is such a beautiful post, and so beautifully written. My life on earth has been so blessed, because I was able to rub shoulders with you! We are eternal friends and sisters. Isn't that wonderful? You are a moon shining over me and over so many others! Oh I hope you know how much I LOVE YOU!
Post a Comment